CNN CARES: WINEHOUSE STILL NOT DEAD!!!

Oh Amy! You’re such a tease! YOU!!!

“If Winehouse’s deliberately off-the-rack look — beehive hairdo, heavy eyeliner, haphazard clothes — once made her seem boho and hip, her repeated appearances on the tabloid pages presented her as pathetic. If “Rehab” once seemed an amusing poke in the eye to her minders, it took on darker overtones as Winehouse was hospitalized for various ailments and actually did go to rehab, most recently in early 2008, in an attempt to kick her drug and alcohol addictions.”

TESTY WESTY: EVA MENDES CRIES LIKE A BABY WHEN ASKED ABOUT HER DRUG REHAB THINGY….

I used to like Mendes until I read this on Mollygood that she said to the Interview reporter when he asked her about her past drug issues.

HEROINE OF THE YEAR: BETANCOURT

Oh, she’s my fave person of the year at the moment! Actually make the past two years! Makes my heart a flutter and helps you believe!

CRAZY CELEBS: DAVID BECKHAM & KATE MOSS = BAD PARENTING

Fuck, poor kids.

Why would you do this? Are they not even embarrassed?? So do you have kids so you can clone them or because you actually want kids…?

What an odd and unpleasant woman Kate Moss is. The growth of her ego never seems to amaze me!

NELSON MANDELA’S BIRTHDAY PARTY HARTY!! LONDON FUN!

Oh god. What a load of tosh. This has to be the biggest networking event in history! With thick aroma of self congratulating resonating the Hyde Park soiree, as guests nibbled on a superb Gordon Ramsey, yes he!, dinner the world watched in silence, yes silence!, as da starz came out in droves from their busy and hugely important schedules to have their picture taken and gossip at that old black man who was in prison or summit?

But lock up your thugs and burgeoning gangsters, it’s The Sugarbabes! Do you think Amelle in the middle brought her machete wielding fiancee? Do you? Think?

These starz are the kind of people who selflessly promote anti-racism or human right violations…..no wait…erm, are any speaking out against Zimbabwe? Oh, my bad, it’s not hip yet…right?

LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE: AMY NOT ILL. I REPEAT NOT ILL.

Well am I not glad that I wasn’t one of those gullible idiots who took that Amy Winehouse with emphysema as believable! That girl and her dad has the sycophantic troop we call humans, wildly wrapped around her skinny/his fat finger! When are we going to learn to be media savvy? When are we finally going to get what celebs are all about?

WHEN?????????????