BFF’S: MUGABE & TSVANGIRAI

16 09 2008

To jubilant cheers, longtime Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe shook hands with rival Morgan Tsvangirai at the ceremony.

Can Zimbabwe be saved?

President Mugabe, the 84-year-old veteran leader of Zimbabwe since 1980, was also effusive in his talk of unity among former rivals.

“We have to walk and walk the same route,” Mugabe said.

But Mugabe said Britain and the United States must keep out of Zimbabwe’s politics, which he called a “salient principal” that must be observed by the new government.

He accused Britain — “our erstwhile colonial master” — of pushing for regime change because it still had designs on Zimbabwe’s natural resources.

“As we move forward, as long as certain salient principles are recognized, we will find room for agreement,” he said.

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NEWS FLASH: MUGABE SEEKS UNION WITH OPPOSITION!!!

8 07 2008

Are we supposed to be impressed?

Ok.

Lets see.

You starve the blacks in your country for a good decade. You kill them if they step out of line.

You kick out all the white farmers from their homes. You hurt them if they step out of line.

You disregard any advice from the UN.

You disregard any advice from the UN.

More people have died. Been humiliated.

Enough is Enough and the world is angry.

But still nothing.

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CORRUPT WHITE MEN: SIMON MANN IS JAILED 4 34 YEARZ!!

7 07 2008

“Eton-educated Mann confessed to taking part in the botched coup attempt but claimed that the London-based Lebanese tycoon, Eli Calil, had planned the operation to secure a share of the country’s vast oil wealth.”

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“Zimbabwe will remain a full member of the International Cricket Council” and the World turns…

4 07 2008

Oh this is the BEST news! I’m soo happy that Zimbabwe are STILL part of the International Cricket Council! People take life too seriously for fucks sake! You think I’m exaggerating? Take this 5 year old or so kid-but between you and me he looks 3! LOL! But yeah, right, he’s all bloodied with a botched up eye and this ‘oh, pity me’ expression on his face cause Mugabe’s henchmen like beat him up! Whhaaaaaat! I’m sure, no, I KNOW it was an accident! They were probably on their way to catch Eastenders or Corrie on TV!

GoDDD! This has NOTHING to do with the cricket! Mugabe is just killing the niggers in his country and like, told all those old white people-who were like really old, lol, to leave! I mean I would do to! Again, this has NOTHING to do with the cricket!

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NEW YORK HEARTS AFRICAN FOOD!!!: AFRICA RESPONDS WITH HUMBLE CRIES OF JOY!!!

26 06 2008

Noooooooooooooot!!!! As our American cou-zins like to say!!

Here’s a poem I personally penned to the people and city of New York:

O blessed be thy New York!

Place of such wonderment and surreal beauty,

Filled with inhabitants whom shit don’t stink,

How do thee survive under such strenous times with SUCH vast cultural heir achy?

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MEMO: MUGABE STRIPPED OF KNIGHTHOOD!! N.B I DON’T THINK HE CARES…???

26 06 2008

Am I the only person who listens to that man when he rants…?? He HATES the West. He HATES the UK. The British are so darned arrogant! Do you really think he gives a shit that you’ve oh so stripped him of a knighthood that is FUTILE to his progression or his dictatorship….????

DO YOU??????

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FUCK ZIMBABWE: Morgan Tsvangirai QUITS!!

22 06 2008

Shit.

“At a news conference, Tsvangirai, who leads the opposition Movement for Democratic Change, said he was unwilling to ask the party’s supporters to go the polls on Friday “when that vote will cost them their lives.”

Tsvangirai’s decision came on a day when governing party youth militia armed with iron bars, sticks and other weapons beat his supporters as they sought to attend a rally for him in the capital, Harare.

It was the latest incident in a tumultuous campaign season in which Tsvangirai has been repeatedly detained, his party’s chief strategist has been jailed on treason charges that most analysts say are trumped up, and rampant state-sponsored violence has killed at least 86 people and left thousands injured, according to tallies by doctors treating the victims.Fuck.”

He did try.

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