TRY HARD: MARY KATE FINALLY LOOKS NICE

HOT GIRL OF THE WEEK: EVA GREEN

I don’t normally do a ‘Hot Girl’ cause I aint into girls but I’m SOO into Eva Green!

SAD SMUT: WHAT IS THIS??

LONDON LOOZER VILLE: Kate Moss & her handbag holderz

James Brown looks a MESS!!

HOLY MOLY MAILOUT TIME: BLIND ITEM!!!!

Oh bollocks.

Why do Holy Moly ALWAYS do this???!! Who the HELL is this children’s TV presenter???? Who is STRAIGHT??!!!!

I HATE FEARNE COTTON-BUT I LOVE HER COAT

No one hates this no talent jammy cow as much as thee but don’t hate thy when I say that I really dig her coat, okay?

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