STUPID PERSON OF THE YEAR: BEYONCE wants you to know that God LOVES her.

24 05 2008

R-iiii-ght.

She’s such a fucking deluded psycho!?

“”I can’t really go to church any more,” the singer tells a magazine this week, “which is a shame. People come up to me during the sermon and, of course, people watch everything I do. They come up and take pictures on their mobile phones too,” Beyoncé goes on. “I think God understands if I miss Sunday service.””

STFU Beyonce.

Sigh, I loather her so much!?

And so with Beyoncé. Clearly, the presence of a stadium-packing diva is only likely to underline the low-tech nature of the stage act He mothballed a couple of millennia ago. Seriously, who wants to see a pillar of smoke? Beyoncé has 30ft-high sparklers and a laser show!

“Having said that, Beyoncé’s congregation-mobbing does raise a wider issue: namely, the increasingly outmoded failure of many faiths to offer their celebrity members a VIP experience. It was recognising this gap in the market, of course, that led parvenu religion designer L Ron Hubbard to create Scientology’s LA-located Celebrity Centre, and Christianity needs to keep pace and offer its industry devotees a wider range of services. Otherwise we may as well accept that more and more Beyoncés will continue to opt out of the system and go private.

How about starting with a worship programme tailored to the individual, to be administered in VIP rooms, where any starstruck behaviour would mark the exhibitor out as a rogue congregant who had made less than $40m in the entertainment industry, and who could be hauled away by security to a life of indentured servitude in the breeding compound?”

Via the brilliant Lost In Showbiz

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