MEDIA BITES: KATE ‘Middleclass’ MIDDLETON teaches CHELSY ‘Chavy’ DAVY how to be a LADY!!

Well I say.

“Having taken Chelsy Davy under her wing to deliver some much-needed sartorial advice and tips on how to conduct herself, Kate Middleton is now counselling her on the company she keeps.”

MEMO: MUGABE STRIPPED OF KNIGHTHOOD!! N.B I DON’T THINK HE CARES…???

Am I the only person who listens to that man when he rants…?? He HATES the West. He HATES the UK. The British are so darned arrogant! Do you really think he gives a shit that you’ve oh so stripped him of a knighthood that is FUTILE to his progression or his dictatorship….????

DO YOU??????

LOOK AT US: WANNABE ROYAL???

Chelsy ‘Mesly’ and Kate ‘Middleclass’ are having a right ol larf watching their boyz playing polo, this weekend YAH!

PRINCE WILLIAM HOT STUD SHOCK!!!

Woooah tiger! With a touch of sun, the lack of accessory such as Kate ‘Middleclass’ Middleton and a cap to hide his receding hairline, Prince William, gulp, actually looks HOT!

Yeah?

MEDIA BITES: PRINCESS BEATRICE ‘FAKES’ JOB @ SELFRIDGES..

I don’t even know why I’m bothering with this bit of ‘NO FUCKING NEWS’ but I’m just pissed @ The Mail. Why is it a fucking shock to know that this was just another royal publicity stunt??! Of course she’s not really working the fucking floor in Selfridges!? But what I find even more bewildering is that they think that people actually CARE!! This brat keeps on getting all this security which is coming out of our FUCKING pockets when she ain’t SHIT!? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ROYAL WAGZ IN DA HOUSE!!

‘Don’t cha wish your girlfriendz were hott like dem?’